Apologies
by Milana16
Summary: "Eiji decided to run away and Oishii didn't approve that at all" Eiji, deciding to finish everything once and for all, leaves a letter in which he apologises for everything he'd once done and for what he felt...but it may be that he didn't need to apologise at all. Small OOc-ness, suprisingly fluffy one-shot, despite angsty beginning.Rated for a language and suicide attempt. GP!


_Soo, I'm normally not into such stories, but since it popped in my head I had to take that out, or it would get in way of creating my others, more fluffy stories. I hope you like it despite strange and rushed style of writing-I'm normally more composed, really! Ah, yes, It's supposed to look more like boyxboy than a simple friendship fic, sorry for the ones that don't like it, for the others enjoy, and what else? MajorOOC-ness, since I don't believe, Eiji's an Emo(honestly, don't ask me where I took that idea from... or ask but you'll get a REALLY chaotic answer, lol) and Oishii wouldn't be so open in public...probably._

_Again, English is my secondary language, so I deeply apologize for every mistake I did, especially from grammar point of view. Oh, yes, I beta-ed it myself, but feel free to point out every mistake you'll find. I'm gonna recheck it in some time, when I "rest" from this story.  
_

_Disclaimer: If I owned Prince of tennis, it would be renamed "Princes of Doubles"...you know why, right? :P Fortunately, the character belongs to Konomi Takeshi. (I'd probably ruin them if these boys were mine)._

* * *

_"To everyone,_

_ I know the beginning is pretty random, but that's how I'm supposed to be, ne? So I'll write it like that, so you won't think that's somebody else, nya~!_

_ Why I am writing tough...it's a little different matter and may be a little more serious. _

_You see, I write to apologize for everything I did. No, really, I just came to understand that my whole existence were nothing but nuisance, especially to my family and you, guys. I've already apologized to my father and siblings, my mother tough... I would need additional book to say sorry for everything I did to her, so I'll just call her a little later, so she won't have to worry anymore. But I'm losing the main thread._

_To every First and second-year: I'm sorry for being stupid, pranky and unreliable sempai. Honestly, you're great guys for bearing with me this whole time._

_To O-chibi, sorry for calling you that and glomping you from surprise. I know it annoyed you greatly, but I just couldn't stop myself, tough it's pretty lame excuse, ne?_

_To Momo and Kaidoh, sorry for annoying you with constantly calling you my kohais and provoking you to do stupid things. Really, such a person like me don't have a right to call anybody his kohai._

_To Inui. Sorry for stealing your glasses and making fun of Inui Juices. I stil think they're awful, but without them, I wouldn't be able to make this far, I'm sure!_

_To Tezuka. Buchou, where do I start? Sorry for always complaining, being a lazy and unproductive Regular, that pulled you away from your goals. Sorry for being loud, stubborn and disobedient and slacking off whenever I had a chance._

_And finally Fujiko and Oishii. I probably made you two the most problems of them all, ne? After all, you two had always taken care of me-I can't even imagine how awful it must have been to you._

_Fujiko, really sorry for dragging you into every of my school problems, forcing you to cover for me whenever I was daydreaming, making fun of you and begging for help every time I needed a helping-hand and Oishii wasn't there._

_Oishii... the list would be so long, that I don't even try to write everything in this one letter. You would need another book, just like mum(as expected from Seigaku's Mother Hen! Ah, sorry for that one, too). I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. The problem is, I'm gonna cause you just one more problem...but don't worry! I'll destroy it as soon as the sun sets! You see Oishii..._

_Oishii..._

_I love you._

_I loved you for quite a long time now, you've become practically the most important person in my life. You're shocked right now, ne? And probably disgusted. I'm sorry, I'm such a coward, I couldn't even tell you this straight into the face and get your refusal, but I'm sure Fujiko somehow will show you this._

_That's why I need to disappear. _

_The sun is still high, so don't think I'm writing that just because I'm in a bad mood. I just really, really wanted to apologize to everybody. Oh, and say goodbyes as well. I hope you don't find this letter quick enough to feel obliged to search for me-I don't want to have to apologize for yet another problem I've caused._

_Thank you, guys, you were a great fun to be with, altough I feel I didn't make it all that enjoyable for you...Again, sorry. Oishii, sorry, I know I shouldn't burden you with that, but I wouldn't have muster enough courage otherwise. Sorry for being in love with you, sorry for always being too close..."_

The hands that wrote the next line shook just as the ones that held the paper, as the green orbs were scanning the letters.

_"Sorry for existing._

_signed_

_Kikumaru Eiji"_

-Everyone's searching for him right now, we're worried he's up to something stupid. Oishii?-Fuji asked, looking at the unmoving vice-captain. Genius put an arm on the black-haired boy's shoulder.- I know it's much to process, but...

-Fuck.-he was cut down by a loud swear. Fuji looked shocked as Oishii rose his head.- He's an idiot. I'm an idiot.! I didn't realize what was happening, despite I said I'll help him in anything! If only...

-Oishii!- tensai snapped another boy's attention to himself- I know it's a lot, but we don't have a time to mourn or play "what, if"! This letter is...

-I need to go.-Oishii abruptly stood. He finally knew.

-But what about...

-I'll find him. I make it on time and fix everythin._ I have to._

And Oishii ran. Ignoring the calls, the shouting, leaving the bag with his things somewhere behind, he ran like he never did before.

They weren't partners for nothing- Eiji could be unaware of it but he left the signs; the signs that only Oishii could read and interpret correctly. But it was late and he had to hurry or it'll become too late.

Ragged breath, sweat on the forehead-none of that counted. The only thing that was worth thinking about was the grinning face with blue orbs, the silhuette shooting a v-sign in his direction or high-five-ing. The warmth that had spread from the hand that hold on a little longer than it was supposed to, the gentle smile that spread whenever they were talking about everything and anything... and the line from the letter.

_The sun is still high._

It was, when Eiji wrote, but now it was almost a sunset...their time. Th time they created a pair. The time they met to discuss the lost matches. The time, when they worked out they weaknesses, the time when they prepared for the next matches, the time when they were together.

The time when Eiji was his happiest self.

Oishii turned the corner. The flick of the eyes and there it is; their green container and the red haired silhuette in front of it... on the other side of the railing that divided him from the busy road beneath.

Oishii made a crazy dash just as the silhuette lef the railing and first shouts resounded in the air. A few of their teammates were running there, too, crying out redhead's name, calling him to stop. Oishii didn't shout; he knew Eiji won't stop, not now, when he thought his world has ended and he had nothing to life for. Redhead wanted to end his life in its happiest moment, to protect memories of happiness and relieve from fading with time.

He was running away, and Oishii didn't approve of that. Knowing that Eiji was quicker of the two of them, he had no chances. Knowing that, he run the race of his life, trying to overtake the time that continued to run, the gravity that was dragging his partner towards his death-if not from the fall, then from the car's tires- and his partner that started running away from him some time ago, and he didn't even see that at first. His heart is pounding-in fear, anger or just from exthausion? Eiji had his eyes closed; he was sure, that blue couldn't be overlooked, even from that distance. "So he is scared, too." Are Oishii's thoughts as he runs on the busy road, not hearing screams or screeching of the tires, not seeing other running people or the car he's running into- he can only see the falling boy. The ground gets closer, and it's sure the car won't slow down on time... it's getting closer and closer, almost too close...

But so is Oishii.

Eiji felt only blessed lightness, just like in acrobatics. That's why he had chosen this method to get rid of himself- if he closed eyes, he could imagine he was only on the court, preparing to recieve yet another ball, as he plays doubles with Oishii.

Oishii...

He's scared, he knows it was too much to write something like that to his partner, but...

No buts. He yet again used Oishii to get his courage and do what was needed to be done.

"Oishii, I'm sorry..."

The next moment his body makes contact with something. It's too soft to be the ground...

Oishii throw himself, catches the other's body, they both roll on the ground, out of the car's way. Eiji finally feels a familiar scent and a quick beating heart next to his face, which is pressed tightly against warm texture of material, and his own heart stops beating just as successfully as he'd actually hit the ground, before picking up the crazy tempo of the other's heartbeat. Slowly other senses returns to him-he hears impossibly quick and loud breathing above him, then, as he opens his eyes, see a casual shirt, he's seen so many times on their free days...

-O-oishii...?

He whispers, he can't believe that, but he looks up and there they are, that enchanting green eyes. He suddenly feels panicked, they shouldn't be so close...!

But before he finishes untangling from the other's embrace, strong hands keeps his shoulders in an iron grip and a raspy voice calls out:

-Neve...never...again...do that, idiot-Oishii sounds strange. Was he...scared? They're now sitting in front of each other, green orbs piercing through Eiji- Wait, I'm taking that back. Never ever _think_ about something like that again. _Eiji._

Redhead avoids his eyes. When Oishii tries to make him look at him he cover his face completely:

-You must hate me now...and I make you another problem..I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even...

Oishii knows that tone all too well from the letter, but he can't convince Eiji if he don't look at him.

-That's not true, Eiji. Look at me. Eiji. Eij!-but redhead doesn't listen to him instead repeating his mantra, tears starting to drop between hands covering the face, voice cracking and losing it's power:

-I'm sorry I live, I'm sorry I exist, I'm sorry I fell in love with you, I'm sorryImsorryImsorryImsor...

-For god's sake, Eiji!-Oishii has enough of this angsty friend of his, it was just so not Eiji-like, it was scary...so he did the only thing he could thought of to calm redhead down: he pulled smaller boy forward, forcibly enclosing him in a warm embrace.- You usually don't listen to the others, but you overdid it this time.

-I'm sorr...

-Don't even end this - he cut him down as his hand strokes red locks- listen to me for a while, will you?

People are all around them, but both of them don't care, don't even look like they were aware of that. Other Regulars are trying to calm down the car driver and other people, calling the ones that searches in the other parts of the town, but the doubles partners are in small bubble of emptiness, nobody wants to break their connection, everyone feels that something between them may trigger or calm down the effects of the feelings that lead to a suicide attempt. Oishii lowers his voice, not wanting anyone but Eiji to hear what he's going to say next:

-Nobody blames you on what had happened in your family, Eiji, not even your father, altough you may think otherwise after what he had told you today.

When Eiji makes a surprised sound, Oishii shushes him and explains silently:

-Your elder sibling returned home and discovered what had happened. She called me just as she found your letter, minutes later Fuji informed me that he found another message. Now the most important thing...-he pulled back a little to look into surprised and terrified blue eyes- Do we really look like a bunch of jerks that will hate somebody for who he is, and badmouth him, instead of talking him straight into eye?

Eiji was shaking his head since middle of his question:

-No! No, no, no! But, I...

-Then don't assume we'll make an exception for you Eiji, and stop running away. It's not like the 'always-face-forward' Eiji, we all know.

The redhead still looked unsure, and Oishii decided against releasing him just yet, in fear the redhead will do something to hurt himself again. Finally, after what felt like eternity of Eiji fiddling with hem of his shirt, redhead silently asks:

-What about... the last...about...

He doesn't see that, but, after Oishii's eyes sparkle with an understanding, the soon-to-be doctor smiles and says:

-Saa...that's the problem...- when redhead raises his head abruptly, panic in the eyes, he uses the movement and connect their lips in a quick peck. When he pulls back and see shocked blue eyes, he smiles, pulling the redhead into a close, loving embrace.- ...mostly because I won't have any more reasons to fight against myself anymore.

-O-oishii?...

-Stop thinking that it's wrong because you feel that. Even if it's true, then we're both screwed. I love you, too, Eiji

Eiji was confused. He didn't know why suddenly Oishii was embracing him even stronger than before, or why all of their friends were all of sudden around them, neither he knew why he was crying and clinging to Oishii, like his life depended of that. Maybe it really was?

He didn't know how the police get there or how he's gotten into an ambulance, neither he felt when a needle prickled at his arm and he fell asleep.

The only thing he knew was that this whole time, Oishii never lightened his hold on him, like he also was scared. Scared that if he let go, Eiji'll disappear.

Two months later:

_"To everyone,_

_Hey, no need for a search party this time, altough I know what you're thinking. Not this time guys, I promised that to Oishii._

_Today, I want to thank you. Thank you, all who screamed at me (altough there are nicer ways to communicate, nya!) for being ridiculous, stupid and angsting idiot. Then, thank you to the ones that said they don't really mind my behavior (really? Because I'm gonna continue that if you say yes!)._

_And finally, to Momo, Kaidoh, Ochibi, Inui, Tezuka, Taka-san and Fujiko. Thanks for searching me that day and helping Oishii to get to me. I can really be a dumbass sometimes, but please bear with me some more time!_

_Again big thanks to everyone!_

_signed_

_Kikumaru Eiji_

_P.s. I forgot that I wanted something else! In the envelope are the tickets to my first stuntman show. No need for taking a first aid kit, Oishii promised to bring his own and, knowing him, he'll take a small hospital with himself...you know he's got the position of the youngest doctor in the history of the hospital? And he still says that he's not competent enough, that idiot...he's impossible, nya!  
_

_Eiji"_


End file.
